Joni Parsley Daydream Believer
Friday, June 07, 2013

Perhaps it’s just me but does anyone else have their fair (or maybe unfair) share of difficult people to deal with?! I’m surprised I have a tongue left since I have to bite it so much to keep from saying what I’d really like to! Oh, the conversations I’ve had or the speeches I’ve rehearsed to these people…all in my mind and after the fact, of course! It’s in moments where they’ve said or done the exasperating; where attempting to engage in a rational conversation about the issue at hand is as impossible as eating chocolate for every meal and staying a size 2! (And if you can do that, you’ve just made my list of difficult people!)

Okay, don’t start wondering who I’m talking about…I’ll never tell! Let’s face it; all of us encounter difficult people in a day. It can be anywhere from someone you know to someone you don’t. You know the ones - the rude cashier, the discourteous driver, the impolite server at a restaurant and let’s not start on those who work at the BMV! I’d rather get a root canal than go to the BMV - it’s much less painful! More and more people have offensive behavior and so the offensive list goes on. The key word is offense. If we’re not careful we can be the ones to get offended and carry around quite a “chip on our shoulder”. Our guard goes up and our walls don’t come down.

There is one solution and I don’t always like it...but I need it. There are times when I want to “say a thing”! Not long ago, I was checking out at a store and the cashier was so rude. It was one thing after another and topped off with, “I can barely read your name on your credit card; I’ll have to see your ID.” Not usually a big deal but she took my driver’s license and examined it like the FBI and held up the picture to my face to make sure we were a match. I was getting embarrassed since it looked like I was a suspicious character trying to use a stolen credit card. Finally, she gave me the okay and then complained that she couldn’t hear me along with a few more things when I asked for a receipt. Yikes, as if! I thought for a minute and looked at her. I wanted to tell her how rude she was and that she should get a job as a prison guard or something! But then I wondered what her life could be like. Was she angry, was she tired, was she in a bad marriage, did she have teenagers (that could make anyone cranky!), was she verbally or physically abused, did she have financial problems? Moreover, could I have compassion instead of anger? Sigh…what would Jesus do?! We know the answer. We may not like the answer but we know it, nonetheless. So I kept my mouth shut, thanked her and wished her a happy weekend. Then I left and remembered the sage wisdom of a friend who told me to “always answer with prayer".

Prayer has a way of adjusting our attitudes. It’s when we approach God that we're reminded that He is love and we were made in that image. We were made in the image of love. In prayer, we open our hearts to receive Him and in His presence so consequently, bitterness, negativity, and offenses can’t remain. Those gloomy feelings melt away in the warmth of the light and love of His reparative presence. If our Redeemer said our sins are cast into “the sea of forgetfulness” then we only have one choice. We have to allow those offenses from others to drown in that sea of redemption and forgiveness too. Where would we be without our Savior’s redemption? (I don’t even want to know!)

Oh, but sometimes this forgiveness thing is so hard! We’re hurt, injured, upset and feel like throwing that offense a life-preserver before it drowns! We need it to stay around a little longer in order to justify our words or actions…um, I admit it - guilty! On the other hand, I’m not saying to be a doormat, but we do need a filter not a fit! When we just stop a minute before reacting, we can let the God in us overpower the “us” in us!

There are times we can tell someone that they’ve said or done something hurtful, especially those we know and have relationships with. It still can’t change our response in the end. We may not get the “I’m sorry” that we want or deserve but we don’t get a “get out of jail free card” either. Our right to be right ended the day we asked Jesus to be Lord; we had to give up the throne!

Yeah, yeah…I get it. "But what about my hurt feelings?" Well, well, well…Your feelings matter because YOU matter. He loves you through that hurt and harm and tends to your wounds and bruises. We must quiet down long enough to think of how we need Him so then, we can let Him. To let means to let go…let it ALL go! God has big shoulders and He can bear anything!

People can be thoughtless and careless for many reasons. Praying for these difficult people keeps our hearts right and therefore, ready to receive from God. I was hurt just this week by someone I care about (and isn't that the hardest kind?). While I was driving, I began to pray and this scripture came to me, “Create in me a clean heart, O God and renew a right spirit within me.” (Psalm 51:10 English Standard Version). It worked!

I’ll tell you what happened next week! We’ll also find out who’s doing the fighting in “The War of the Roses”…tune in next week for Part Two!

Filed In: Encouragement, Forgiveness, Prayer, Guidance, This & That |  |   14 Comments
Sunday, February 17, 2013

Well…here I sit and sit and sit as I enter week two of post-surgery recovery! My day has little variation and I can always be assured that there will be sitting! One exciting highlight is my ride in the car to therapy! Once I get there, however, the torture begins! Friday, the doctor aspirated my knee with a needle that made me nearly fall off the table! I now have a whole new level of compassion for anyone that’s gone through this. It’s not fun but not serious so I don’t want to sound like a whiney baby! Other than sitting, however, I can walk with crutches which is worthy of You-Tube…it’s a little comical at times!

Now, perhaps you can see why I’m bored! Nonetheless, I promised I’d use my time wisely. I’ve been able to read and do a lot of thinking. Naturally, when something is taken, I realize how valuable it is. It’s like when the power goes out, I realize how I take electricity for granted. Being able to move around, and have the freedom to do what I want or need, has been compromised. I walked around my kitchen today wishing I could cook. Then, I wandered into my laundry room longing to do some laundry! (I know I’m strange!) I wanted to drive my car, leave my house, or go somewhere….AAAHHHH!!!

l trudged back to my room, hooked back up to the ice machine I have to use on my knee, and watched the beautiful, fluffy snowfall. I had a choice to get sad or get busy…I chose the latter. After all, I’m thankful to have a house to be in and grateful that my surgery wasn’t serious. Sure, to be honest, I feel crummy but this has an end. “The sun will come out tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there’ll be sun!” Yes, I’m singing it too!

Anyway, with resolve, I did what I could do and realized the many advantages to having this surgery and recovery. My body wasn’t the only thing needing it, my spirit needed recovery too. The freedom that I felt was taken, had really been given instead. For weeks, I’ve huffed and puffed through days and weeks wishing for quiet time. I’d look at the books on my nightstand, which had gone untouched, and longed to give them my undivided attention. I realized my books weren’t the only things needing it either. Having time to really talk to God made me see how He was getting my attention but it was divided…some here, some there, and some in-between.

I was reading Come Away My Beloved and one of the daily readings posed this question, ”Does God have my affection?”. I thought further and asked myself, “If he has my affection, does He have my time?”

Don’t we give our time to what we love or whom we love? If something or someone gets ignored for too long, something happens, or doesn’t happen, to let us know. There are times when we’re searching for answers when we only need to ask questions. If we’re honest with ourselves, those answers can usually explain a lot. If we unravel the mystery, the clues are often pointing at us. Simply put, we can see what we’ve committed by whom we’ve omitted.

Many years ago, Frances J. Roberts wrote the aforementioned book. I’ve had several copies of that classic that I’ve given away. But just like God, a dear friend bought me a lovely pocket devotional that sits by my bed or in my purse. For now, it’s bedside so I can read it methodically because the words are so deep and meaningful. The author described her writings with profound words that brought tears to my eyes and understanding to much of life’s major or minor ordeals.

Just a few words described her work, “Forged in the crucible of life.” Just a few words describe my reply, “Forge Ahead!”

Filed In: Guidance |  |   20 Comments


About Joni

Thanking God for blessings too many to list. He is my all and my always-the glory and the lifter of my head... He never fails.

Why the Name

"For a child, it’s as easy as blowing out candles on a cake, or wishing upon a star. But as for one of those 'grown-ups,' 'No dream comes true until you wake up and go to work.' " ...